We all been there at one year or another. Your milestone birthday is coming up, and you can not resist the peer pressure from your best friends, any more than you can repel a chocolate ice cream offering on your 36 week of pregnancy, or the equally satisfying self-indulgent for men.  
            You have to have a big bash for yourself with 100 or so of your “closest friends.”  However, the monumental task in front of you, shake you to your core. Nevertheless, at the same time, the excitement of finally celebrating You is too overwhelming to ignore any longer.
         There is one small problem though. The last time you had planned for a birthday party, you were living with your parents, and you were still in high school  in the suburbs of St. Louis.
          Have no fear. Everything will be more apparent to you, and without sounding conceited, I will like to proposition you with my two cents of wisdom on the matter. With this ten fundamental rubrics I will shed some light on the dark and mysterious word of planning and executing, a hustle-free and fantastic birthday party in NYC. 

      ​1. Venue, Venue, Venue! (Location, Location, Location).
​            There is a reason that s**t happens. Most likely, is the venue that you choose to celebrate your once in a lifetime, (or you though) event of the decade. There is a direct correlation between the vision that you may have about your expected experience and the restaurant that you choose to make it happen.
          You have to approach it the same way you will commence a new romantic relationship, and then some. Be open-minded, without compromising on your vision of what your event will have to feel, and look. The venue, will have to mirror your expectations from the outset, in order for your affair to be on its way to a successful supposition. 

      
      2.   Budget is key to any event (plan to spend more than you have to and then some).
​             Small or large, your budget has to reflect your visualization of the event. Let face it. If this is going to work, you have to pay the piper no matter how you slice it.
​             At any financial and social level that you may be part of, rich or poor and anything in between, you are going to spend more than you used to on a regular night out to dinner, by all means. Now I am not encouraging that you went out and spent your life’s savings on your 40th birthday party, but the reality is that with all the trimming that you may want for your event to be marvelous, you are going to overspend, and so put up and enjoy the ride.
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​       3.   Time and date (never on Saturday).
           Even though you had no say as to the day of your birth, you do have complete control of the day and time of your celebration. Yes in an ideal world every day should be a Saturday, but keep an open mind as to the benefits that any other day of the week may offer to a successful outcome of merriment.
            I will let you in on a secret: 94.4% of all events (and not just birthday party) inquiries to any venue are for a Saturday night. Now there are 52 weeks to a year, and so, that leaves you and the rest of New York with a predicament. Are you going to do what everyone else does (maybe for a good reason) and are you willing to pay through the nose for the venue on prime day and time? Or you are going to be a spoiled Princes for a night and be pampered to death as you spent as much as 50% less of the cost of Saturday ​night booking and have your party on any other day?
​            However, let's go beyond the money. Saturday is the busiest night of the week for any restaurant, period. And so, the service is not going to be too attentive; the food is going to take longer (mainly because your big party table is there), the exclusivity will be nonexistent, and the attitude of the rest of guests on the venue may even be nasty. Your choice to consider.

​      4.    Guest list (the more the merrier, but never too many)
           I can tell you from 30 years of observing my guest at Casa La Femme, energy is the key to any social gathering and you not going to get that with 4 of your closest friends celebrating your momentous birthday. You may get a stimulating gossipy conversation. However,  you can get that any day of the year.
            Now, how to get a large enough of a group together to create lots and lot of vibe and energy without you getting lost in the crowd. You want to be the center of attention at least 50% of the time during this pampering spoiling moments.
            If you don’t mind, I can give you the exact perfect number of guests to have, for this significant celebratory event in your life without going overboard, and have to plead to strangers to come to your party so you can reach your imaginary number of invitees attending. That number is the number of people you willing to spent more than five minutes to talk to at any given time but no more than 15.
         Let's say you invite 20 guests, and you spent ten minutes with each one of them, you just spent 3 hours and 20 minutes right there. I will say, that is just about the amount of time you will have for your event plus some additional moments for blowing out candles and thanking the manager and servers for the delightful experience they provided to you and your guest(right !!!!).

      5.    The Invite (the sky is the limit).
​            Back in the nineties, with no social media for help, there were only three ways to invite someone to a party. You will call, you will mail or most importantly you will send a messenger with that spectacular and unique invite with a personal touch. In today's world, nothing can be more precise than that. With 20 invites or less to go out, you can make this request an excellent inspiration for the party to come.
          The stimulus is not just for you, but for your guest most importantly. Let some clues to be surface as to what the party may hold for your guest. Send an invitation that can portrait you, the event, and screams fun, originality and playfulness. 

   6.   To Theme or Not to Theme(to paraphrase William Shakespeare that is the question).
​           Theme parties are appropriate for many occasions, but they can be overwhelming and overbearing for a birthday party. The trick is to get the most of your vision for your event from the atmosphere of the venue you choose and add a personal touch to it.
​            You can lose yourself in the process of theming a party and forget what you are celebrating, and that is you. The number one rule that exists in my mind if you are going to theme you’re a birthday event is that you focus on you and not the number. Celebrate your life of the past the present and the time to come.  

    7.   Flowers and table candles (the is a good reason that both are considered the foundation of any event décor)
​         If you do nothing else for your décor of you your event, please do spend the money and time to get flower arrangement for your tables. Do not have the restaurant take care of this. You will save your self-frustration and the trouble of running around the last minute trying to correct their sloppy work and the fact that they entirely miss the point of what you were looking for in design and mood.
            Let this two ​elements create the temperament of the evening, and the rest will fall in to place. If you have the money for a floral designer, you will not regret it spending it. Be adventures with your choices and realize that you can never go wrong with floral and candles.

​      8.  The Seating chart  (ask any successful party planner and they will tell you why they will always have a sitting arrangement for their parties no matter what they are celebrating)
             The is no better way to say that you are in control of the destiny of your festivity, than the name tags on each place setting on the table. You have spent days upon days of planing this and now is not the time to let others decide the success or failure of the night. Yes, that how important the sitting chart is. It will take time, and you will change it numerous times, but in the end, you will be so much happier with your choice.

      9.     The Cocktail Hour (the bread and butter for any event)
​            First, have a welcoming drink as your guest enter the venue. Setting the atmosphere of the night will be essential.  Bubbles will always be the best, safest and most elegant choice. I will highly recommend that you incorporate Hors-d'oeuvres with that cocktail hour. Here is where “the more, the merrier” of choices is not what you are after. Choose one to most three, pass around or stationery Hors-d'oeuvres (one excellent item is the best option instead of compromising three) and have them available for ½ the time of the cocktail hour.
             Remember this is not the primary course of the night no matter how spectacular it may be. Just tease your guest and hope that the rest of the food will be as phenomenal as the Hors-d'oeuvres which brings me to why you choose to be on a restaurant, to begin with.

     10.   Fooooooooooooooooooooood!
​            More courses, fewer choices per course is my advice on any dinner event. Think of it this way. A two-course dinner can be achieved in 45 minutes even for a party of 40. However, you do want to take your time and enjoy your evening with a well-paced meal that is scrumptious and ascetically pleasing. That can be achieved better if the kitchen is preparing the same dish for each guest at your party.
​             Start with something that will be on the table the moment you seat and can be share. Continue with a hot appetizer followed by a salad. Your choices of the main course can be no more than three, and it is the only time that your guest gets to choose. For dessert, of course, you will have a cake but keep it small and undoubtedly supplemented it with the establishment’s best choices of sweets (I have not had a birthday cake that I like yet).

​                And so take the plunge and go at it. Make this birthday the one you will remember for years to come and if that does not come to fruition; tomorrow is another day.
Anastasi

​           There is no doubt that careful consideration must be given when selecting a romantic restaurant for a first date.
         Candlelight, semi-private table nested beneath an elegant canopy exudes a romantic backdrop for the ultimate first date. Add the additional element of a unique show, and the experience will leave your date with a lasting positive impression. Casa la Femme will no doubt exceed your expectations. 

           For the most of us, dating is neither an art nor science; it is most likely an impulse. Our experience and our personality dictate the majority of the choices that we make during the course of any date.
           Preparing for a first date is vastly nowhere near as complicated, exhausting and crucial as preparing for your wedding. Never the less, with your dinning venue selected, you next need to plan wisely and check off your list or priorities for the perfect date out.

​If Knowledge is power, then the most you know about your date the best you can prepare for your evening out. Is your date allergic to some ingredients? If yes; that can limit your choice of venue you can dine.  You don't need to grill her/him about her/his dietary needs, but it won't kill you to delicately drop hints about stuff that could massively backfire, just to make sure you are both on board. In today's world of social media and google, there is very little under the sun that we do not know about each other. Put the knowledge to good use without seem like a stalker.

​Lou Reed was not singing about first dates with his iconic song. Being unique is a virtue most of the time and so, be selective on the choice of venue and plans you have for your date. Not striking the bull’s eye on the choice of restaurant you bring your date is not a fundamental fault. Been on a different planet all together with your  choice of dinner venue, than the one your date may anticipate is!

​Enjoy the moment in the process of preparing for your date with realistic expectations that will make your night fun, delightful, and a bit adventurous if possible. It is more than OK to get excited before you go out with someone new, on the end, you will take away what you bring in. 

.You probably have heard the politically correct phrase of “Be open to unexpected first date ideas” as Glamour magazine may have advice. Well, you can take a chance on something new and electrifying on your first date if you dare, but 9 out of 10 couples on the first date, said that they got their expectation accomplish by going out to dinner at a romantic restaurant. There is always time for experimentation later if there is a second and third date.

​The majority of people are looking for a self-assure, independent, inward beautiful person that is secure with what they are and portray just that. Even if your first date turns into a disaster because he/she was more interest in the surrounding eye candy then you, would you rather know sooner than later?

​While bringing a prophylactics along on a first date might strike some as arrogant, in reality, it is just called being prepared. On the other hand, even if you do note plan to shed your clothes, your Agent Provocateur  lingerie will give you confidence and self-assured though out the night. 

​How can you inject some additional confidence just before your date start? Call a comrade. You closer friends and even your mother will smother you with compliments as to why your new partner to be, will be the luckiest person in the world to share the night with you on a dinner and a show. That ought to boost your ego a bit. Do not underestimate the power of conviction either.

An evening out with a first date is the introduction to the soul of that person. The impulse may be to be concerned about what you portrait externally, so you do not open up too much of yourself. If you do drink socially and you are not driving that evening, do allow yourself to be more at ease with your date and let them take a pic of the real inner you. I’m in no way suggesting on going on a rampage of shooting down one Qui tequila shot after another by all mean, but do enjoy the moment with a bottle of wine or a marvelous Qui tequila cocktail (this is probably the best tequila you ever had, trust me).

​I have not met one person with a positive attitude that I did not like, and I have met tens of thousands of them over the years. I am sure you agree with me on that. Now you know that sometimes anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Keep your cool and make the best of it if for no other reason but to salvage the night and display the better you to your date. The restaurant may be too busy and have you wait to be seated even though you have a confirmed reservation. Have a drink at the bar and get to know your date. Your water may unintentionally delay to approach you with the menu. That may be a perfect time to discuss yours and his/her preference for the type of cuisine you most identified with when you are cooking for your self at home. My point is instead of trashing the venue or the staff even though they may even deserve it, find a positive spin and go with the flow. You are the better person at the end.

​It is easy for me to say. Right? Well, you get what you can afford, and nothing more. No one can stop you from it. In any metropolitan city (no offense to any small villages out there and I reside in one) your choices of restaurants at all price range are plentiful at least or countless at best. Your choices should not be “Can I have both an appetizer and a dessert at this upscale highly chic restaurant that I do not have the funds for.” Your choice should be “What amazing restaurant represent me the most in term of my budget and romantic personality.” Research and planning will go a long way on having a carefree night without the stress of money. By the way, your budget should include the cost of the evening out for both you and your date; even if you think that your date will pay for both of you or at list, you will split the bill. Better safe than sorry. 

​No one wants to spend five hours of any day with a date that is the equivalent of waterboarding torture. Just feeling that way though does not justify as a reason for not committing the time and effort your date deserve and expects. Do act interested in what your date is saying, and if anything play devil’s advocate if you disagree with his/her point of view. What that will achieve, is at the very list you both will have a passionate exchange of ideas that you can learn from. The alternative is to allow being bored to death. If you do not like the way the date is going, end it early. Nevertheless, if you tired, upset about your day at work or your workload the next day, do not let it affect your time together. Talk. Ask questions. Make eye contact and even flirt if you up to it. 

​Eating is instinctual. Moreover,  like many instinctual things (ahem, the bedroom) men often go on autopilot when there is food in front of them. Now that is all fine and good when you’re standing over the sink eating cereal by the handful and straight from the box, but if you are out with a woman who got all dressed up for this, it’s time to change gears. The meal you are about to share is not a necessary chore for survival. It should be an event. In addition your attention to a few key details will help make it one. Mastering the art of the dinner date is not hard, and it not not all about proper etiquette like which fork is for what (start at the outside, work your way in), or when you put your napkin on your lap (just do it when you sit down), although that certainly helps. Remember these simple rules before you head out to that fancy restaurant, and she might even be excited to share a dessert with you.

1. Make Good Use of Your Napkin. Place your napkin in your lap immediately upon sitting down. Unfold it while it is on your lap.
2. Use utensils on the outside first and work your way in with each new course.
3. Keep personal items (including cell phone) off the table.
4. She goes first. On everything.
5. Chew with your mouth closed.
6. Cut your food into only one or two bite-sized pieces at a time.
7. When at a dinner party or restaurant, proper table manners dictate that you taste your food before seasoning it.
8. Turn off or silence all electronic devices before entering the restaurant. If you forgot to turn off your cell phone, and it rings, immediately turn it off. Do not answer the call. Do not text and do not browse the Internet at the table.
9. If you have more than a few words to say, swallow your food, rest your fork on your plate, and speak before you resume eating.
10. Items are within reach if they are within easy reach of your arm when you are leaning only slightly forward. Do not lean past the person sitting next to you.
11. White wine glasses are held by the stem, not the bowl. Red wine glasses may be held by the bowl.
12. Scraping a plate or loudly chewing is unpleasant to listen to and considered impolite. Smacking and slurping foods are major mistakes and a sign of bad table manners.
13. The "no elbows on the table" rule applies only when you are actually eating. When no utensils are being used, putting your elbows on the table is acceptable.
14. Start by selecting a wine in the category you are interested in and find a wine at the price point you are comfortable with. Show the sommelier your selection and ask for his opinion, but place your finger on the price, rather than the name.
15.  When sneezing or coughing at the table is unavoidable, cover your nose or mouth with a napkin and proceed as quietly as possible. Except in an emergency, do not use a napkin to blow your nose. Leave the table and use a handkerchief instead.
16. Call for a reservation as many days or weeks ahead as possible. Reconfirm the reservation by calling on the day of your visit.
17. To show you are ready to order, close your menu and place it on the table.
18. If you decide that you will pay for the dinner, inform the waiter or maitre d’ that you are to receive the check. Once the meal is finished, ask the waiter for the check.
19. In tasting another person's food, either hand your fork to the person, who can spear a bite-sized piece from her/his plate and hand the fork back to you, or (if the person is sitting close by) hold your plate toward her/him so that she/he can put a morsel on the edge.
20. If you drop a utensil, pick it up yourself if you can and let the waiter know you need a new one. If you cannot reach it, inform the waiter and ask for a replacement.
21. Do one thing at a time at the table. If you want to sip your wine, temporarily rest your fork or knife on the plate.
22. Do not gesture with a knife or fork in your hands.
23. Savor the meal and eat slowly; it encourages conversation and conviviality.
24.  Remember the following food-friendly wines that will pair well with almost anything and are generally available in several prices: If you would like to order a red wine, choose a Pinot Noir. The Burgundy region of France and California produce quality Pinot Noirs. Pinots from Washington and Oregon are also good choices. If you would like a white wine, select a Riesling from Germany or the Alsace region of France. Drier Rieslings pair especially well with most foods.
25. Most restaurants offer a smaller selection of wines by the glass. When ordering wine by the glass, you should be aware that you may be getting wine from a previously opened bottle. You might want to ask the server when the bottle was opened. If it has been open for one or more days, you may want to make another selection.
26. Egyptian, French, Italian, Chinese and other foreign restaurants may have menu items you are not familiar with. Unless you are fluent in these languages or have eaten at these types of restaurants before, you will probably need to ask questions about items on the menu or about service.

Good Luck.
Anastasi